Why?

“Women don’t need to be paid as much,” the young man said in all seriousness, “because they are not supporting families.  The men are.”  
 

The newly wed woman wondered just what he thought women did with their paychecks if the men were making all the money, but, instead, said “Well, if that is true, then Bob (another employee at the company) should be making more than you.  After all, he has five children. You only have one. Thus, he has more family to support.

This was a logical conclusion, the twenty something woman thought, to that argument. 

It was still dismissed as silly.

The woman, now long retired, wrote back to me saying “thank goodness times have changed a lot since.”

But have they? 

Reading on that stubborn pay gap was both maddening – and fascinating.  The most recent research still indicates that women still make on average eighty cents for every dollar a man earns for doing the same job.  And that is just a national average. Some states have an even wider gap.  And that is just for us white chicks. Women of color have a wider gap still.  

And that still remains one of the reasons researches give for that statistic that has barely budged in many years: the prevalent belief that men are still the primary bread winners for any given household, and that women employed outside the home are mainly working for the luxuries.  The frivolous.  The extra bit of pocket change, perhaps, to be used at the next vacation that the husbands pay check mainly financed. 

Not only does this completely undervalue or work (I work dang hard – just ask every supervisor I’ve ever had) but that belief is no longer true.  In the state I currently reside in, Missouri, the percentage of households fronted by a single mother was at 7.27% in 2018 per Statista website. This might seem like a small number, I suppose, but that number is growing. Single mothers are more likely to need welfare or other government assistance.  Imagine what a huge difference getting paid fairly – even just a little more – would make to all of those single mothers! It might even mean the difference as to whether she needs the SNAP program to feed her children or if she can do that on her own!

It is not all negative and frustration, though.  More and more awareness is out there.  More and more of our lawmakers are at least talking about this even if change is slow.  I’m pleased to report that the city I currently live in recently passed an ordinance baring employers from asking about previous salaries in the application and interviewing process.  This small step will help by removing that self-perpetuation. Meaning that the single mother may find herself in a better bargaining position if she does not have to report that she did not make all that much at her last job.  

This is an ongoing and complex problem that can hardly be covered in a one or two page blog.  Seriously, though, do some research on your own on this.  Like I said: maddening yet fascinating.  In the meantime, I’m sure I’ll return to this subject again.  Maybe next time this conversation is continued, I’ll take about the mommy penalty and its companion phenomena: the daddy bonus. 

But for now, be well.  Take time for some self-care - - and enjoy the holidays however you celebrate. 

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the women in the story I opened this blog with?  That was not some fictional woman.  Or even a composite of several women.  That experience did happen. That woman was my mother.